Rev. Warlock DRACONIS BLACKTHORNE (dblackthorne) wrote,

Bottoms up!


Sex & Satan

I have seen this libation now and then at market registers, and thought the design was rather appealing, with what appears to be three claw marks slashing through the can, and of course, the name itself caught My attention; but even if what this woman is claiming is true, I think it adds to the attraction, although My so-called "energy drink" of choice is the Belialian elixer 'coffee' {6 letters!}, preferably iced, but sometimes warm on a cool evening.

Perhaps she is a shill for the company itself to draw more attention to the product, knowing full well the claims would be so outlandish that someone was bound to capture this rant on video, and thus, make it go viral.

But I like the paranoid, conspiratorial thought that went into this one:
  • 666 {ווו}: This coincides with their catchphrase nicely, whether or not the resemblance is intentional. Not to mention the longest lines on a barcode registers as 666, which is also present on the can and the box, resembling a pitchfork plunging downwards towards Hell in denial of the holy trinity!
  • BFC {"Big F'n Can}: That it is, for verily, it speaketh the truth.
  • MILF {"Mother I'd Love to F*ck"}: "Milfs dig it, and you will too."* Now, perhaps what this "milf" needs is exactly that!
  • ϕ: To Me, this looks like the Greek letter 'Phi', which represents the Phi Ratio in Physics {see Pentagram}; in Lacanian algebra, Φ signifies the phallus, although if you look closely, it also resembles the vulva, and otherwise a penis penetrating the vagina. [see secret hand gesture].
  • "Unleash The Beast": Indeed, "There is a Beast in man that should be exercised, not exorcised." {LaVey}; and otherwise a euphemism for releasing "Vlad the Impaler", and "putting The Devil in Hell", as it were.
  • Overall, this campaign seems more of a marketing ploy to the college demographic and athletes, if anything. Inevitably, sales will rise, and that, as we know, is quite Satanic. ∞

    * Another riddle has been known as "Hey mother, want another?"

    Tags: 666, christinsanity, comedy, herd mentality, herd stupidity, humor, loki's laughter, misanthropy, nefarious news, social commentary, social observation, superstition

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