I. Quotations: Thomas Paine, Eleanor Roosevelt, George Washington, Konrad von Gesner.
II. Nefarious News: Preacher Packs A Whollup, PETA Peeved by Parody, Prostitutes Can Dress Down For Their Job, Fired Pizza Maker Demands Dough, Young Boy Gets a Sharp "Cue", Bonfire Of The Vanities, Two Pounds Of Bologna In A One Pound Bag, Woman Dies After Seeing Fake Spears, Professor Paid To Study Strippers, Blind Man Arrested For Driving, She Must Have Served One Hell Of A Cocktail, What a Copy Cat, Cow-Tipping Takes on New Meaning, If You Don't Tip You'll Get His Two Cents, Well, They Do Have the Masked Look..., Beds So Clean You Can Eat Off of Them, Sniper Sets His Sight on Santa, Oh Rats!, Guess They Didn't Learn From Their Mistake, Clinton Fumes Over German Cigar Gift, Fake Priest Busted For Enema Exorcisms.
III. The Black Earth/Interesting Facts & Foibles: Bizarre Festivals, Part 2.
IV. Loki's Laughter: The new priest.
V. Hell's Bar & Grill: Buffalo Chicken Dip, Baked Beef Stew, Mint Ice Cream Pie.
VI. Wicked Words: indite, wampum, ugsome, militate, Cockaigne.
VII. The Devil's Web: U.S. Castles, Custom Creature Taxidermy, Nightwish.
VIII. The Shadow Gallery: Light Bearer.
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