DRACONIS BLACKTHORNE (dblackthorne) wrote,

Xmas in Hell

The Dark Side of The Xmas Tree
XXIV A.S. Performance Records. Genre: Holiday, Comedy.
  • THE SPACE NEGROS: Jingle Hell, We Wish You A Lousy Xmas, Deck The Halls (With Poison Sumac), Silent Fright.
  • MAGIC MOSE AND HIS ROYAL ROCKERS (FEATURING 'BLIND SAM'): Have Yourselves a Groovy Little Solstice, I'm Dreaming Of A Noir Xmas.
  • THE JETHROS: Frosty The Snow Plow, Walking Through A Winter Blunderland, We Wished You A Merry Xmas, Silent Night, O Wooly Town Of Buffalehem, Merry F*cking Xmas, Let It Snow $3, O Come All Ye Faithful, I'm Dreaming Of A Wide Xmas, Wreck The Halls, Little Bummer Boy, Slivered Bells, We Be Kings, The Last Noel, Have A Holly Golly Xmas, Slay Ride, I'll Be Gnome For Xmas.
  • ERIK LINDGREN: A Special Personalized Christmas Greeting To You From All The Retailers Of America, Ho Ho Ho

I first became aware of this recording when a sensual acquaintance brought it over to The Noctuary around Solstice, and was quite amused by it. Of course, there were songs like King Diamond's 'No Presents For Christmas', which remains a favorite, but here was the first entire irreverent 'holiday' album in existence, so I had to record it on tape, which I labeled 'Xmas In Hell'. There have been several mock albums since in various genres, each with its own charm.

The album begins with a phased hypnogogic effect as if tumbling into a mad world of winter celebration. First with "The Space Negros", offering punk-styled 'sacrilegious' variations on traditional carols in Jingle Hell, We Wish You A Lousy Xmas, Deck The Halls {With Poison Sumac}, & Silent Fright.

Then for a change, the listener finds themselves in a smoke-filled club sipping martinis while being treated to Jazz/Lounge diddies by Magic Mose & His Royal Rockers {featuring Blind Sam*} with 'Have Yourselves A Groovy Little Solstice' & 'I'm Dreaming of A Noir Xmas', wherein one is transported to a suit/tie & fedora environment {where some exist perpetually}, in a laid back, relaxed entertainment while watching the gams go by. I appreciated the mention of acknowledging the warlocks and witches in the audience, as well as druids.

"Xmas is a lousy racket!"

The next level descends with The Jethros with seventeen hellarious blasphemic carol distortions which actually captures the mood of herdmas quite well, inclusive of the regurgitation of holiday 'spirits' at one point; the drunkenness, depression, greed, over-indulgence, pretentiousness, tacky decorations, etc.

Erik Lindgren concludes with "A Special Personalized Xmas Greeting For You From All The Retailers In America", which reveals the true motivations of businesses who profit from this hallmark holiday just like all the others. The lengthy "Ho Ho Ho" which goes on for almost thirteen minutes, gives the impression of a veritable "Santa The Hut" as a huge omnipresent monster gathering the 'faithful' consumers for consumption.

The cover art is most obviously based on 'The Dark Side of The Moon' by Pink Floyd, except the prismic pyramid is shaped like a xmas tree, with the prism emitting xmas lights instead from the rainbow.

'The Dark Side of The Xmas Tree' definitely slaughters the sacred xmas cow, roasts it, and serves it up on a platter complete with all the trimmings. ∞

* Sammy Davis Jr. reference?

* * * * * * * * *

{Of course, if you want preferable Winter celebration music devoid of the christian or Santa myths, Nox Arcana's Winter's Knight, Winter's Eve, and Winter's Majesty is recommended, as well as Vivaldi's "Winter" from Vivaldi: The Four Seasons}.
Tags: malefick musick, nox arcana, solstice, winter, xmas

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