Rev. Warlock DRACONIS BLACKTHORNE (dblackthorne) wrote,

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"Foo-Foo, I know thy name, and it is lepus."

Foo-Foo, I know thy name, and it is lepus
By Serpentis Blackscale

Hissee FitAt this time of the year, the dreaded lepus creature rises up from its subterranean abode to overshadow society with its odious pink haze, vile twitching nose, food bag-like body [1], and two prolonged ears {a mockery of horns} sticking up straight to heaven! And if you listen carefully, you can hear the chewing sounds...

Here's a strange bit of oddness. It seems that for some reason snakes are beginning to pervade the herd's Easter season, from so-called snake easter baskets to snake candy decked up in easter motif.

Submitted for your consideration: Observe the item on the right - a so-called "Hissee Fit Gummy Snake". What possible connection could this serpent have to the typical rabbit scenario? Perhaps it is in the 'snake in the grass' connotation, lurking to snatch a foo in mid-hop for a filling meal of a lop.

"Foo-Foo, I know thy name, and it is lepus."

Of course, when I asked Mr. Snake Slithersworth if he knew why there were snakes on such decorated packages, he admitted that it is all a marketing campaign by Guano Corp. to take over all holidays for snakedom. Then he grimly suggested the following film:

Just recently, I became aware of the film entitled "Night of The Lepus" [2], which displays the buck-toothed abomination in its true form. It is as educational as it is, if you are so inclined, amusing... The axiom "hold your friends close, but your enemies closer" comes to mind. So if you have not done so, it is recommended to watch the film carefully and prepare oneself and loved ones for their nefarious plans. The Foo Cult have been meeting in secret groves for years, cultivating mutant lepi to gigantic proportions, veritable "Foozillas" [3], but the snakes know better, and are actively thwarting their efforts at world domination. This is one method through propaganda.

Take heed. The "cuteness" factor is just a ruse. Behind those abnormally large watery eyes and batting eyelashes, lays a terror awaiting for centuries. Upon My last two visits to the County Fair, "Commander Bun-Bun" made his presence known, hopping upon an elevated location to stare with glistening eyes - it knows...

[1] As a matter of fact, to replicate a foo quite completely, tying a half-knot on the handles of an item-occupied plastic bag to resemble ears demonstrates its symmetry quite thoroughly.
[2] And to a lesser degree, Monty Python & The Holy Grail.
[3] To that end, it has been revealed that some foos can in fact practice invisibility, peering through the veil from time to time.

Tags: beaster, comedy, essay, essays, holidays, humor, loki's laughter, snake slithersworth

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