DRACONIS BLACKTHORNE (dblackthorne) wrote,

Theatre of Blood

~ Theater of Blood ~

{VIII A.S. Directed by Douglas Hickox. Starring Vincent Price, Diane Rigg, Ian Hendry, Harry Andrews, Coral Brown}

A truly delightful film about austere thespian Richard Lionheart, who was under-appreciated by his so-called 'peers'. is unjustly robbed of his rightful award, and thus nobly seeks to correct the wrong done to him by unperceptive ingrates.

Thus, he admonishes the talentless worm-like critics, and in a fit of depression, hurls himself from a balcony to the horror of his impressively devoted daughter, where he finds surprisingly unexpected company with derelicts, who sought to rob him until they realize the seemingly lifeless body has resurrected. They become his minions in a darkened theatre where he relives and performs his timeless plays with traditional flare, ingeniously planning his revenge all the while.

And thus, true to his romantic nature, subsequently administers well-deserved and amusingly devilicious punishments upon his rotten detractors. Supremely poetic, one by one they are lured into Shakespearian tragedies which were on the itinerary the night of the misplaced recognition, with minor modifications due to environment and practicality:

Julius Caesar: Critic stabbed to death on the Ides of March by Lionheart's killer hippies.

Troilus and Cressida: Critic dragged to death by a horse in front of a funeral being held for the previous victim.

Cymbeline: Critic electrocted.

The Merchant of Venice: Critic impaled, heart removed, weighed to be a perfect pound, and mailed to The Police in an ornate box.

Richard the Third: Critic suffocates own wife in a mad fit of jealousy, whose lover was actually Lionheart in disguise. He will of course perish in prison, and is thusly 'destroyed'.

Romeo and Juliet: Focusing on another scene within the play entirely, an alcoholic critic is drowned in a vat of wine.

Henry the Sixth, part 1: .Critic is surgically beheaded in own bed next to wife amidst the pleasant strains of Beethoven.

Titus Andronicus: Corpulent critic suffocated by mass amounts of the flesh of his own odious poodles, while their little heads repose upon a platter as if witnessing his demise.

King Lear / Othello: Epic fencing wherein Lionheart displays remarkable feats of acrobatics and skill, followed by the defeated 'ringleader' of the critics being restrained within a contraption, and subjected to two perfectly positioned red-hot glowing daggers aimed for his eyes.

After experiencing the fulfillment of the sweet satisfactions of his vengeance, Lionheart unfortunately himself becomes a character in his own tragedy, plunging once more unto terra firma in one last blaze of glory, whose infamy remains immortal.

Another element this film establishes, is the more contemporary introduction of these classic plays to the uninformed. For upon witnessing this presentation, the viewer will at least become somewhat more familiar with the dramatic outline of their plots.


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