November 25th, 2021

Devil, incubus, gentleman, martini, scoundrel

Hollywood xmas parade

BLACK EARTH

Sponch hosted along with Montel Williams, Dean Cain {of "Lois & Clarke" lame}, and 2 bimbos. Notable floats were a ferocious T-Rex, the Lorax {"diabeetus"; amusing}, a nutcracker {predictable}, elves {lame, if not hideous}, ronaball ornaments {unintentionally funny}, snowman globe {generic}, and a pirate! Also notable is the intermittent appearance of the haunted Roosevelt Hotel in the background.

Only recognizable people were Danny Trejo, Beaver, and a familiar news lady from KTLA. A great 'float' would have been a depiction of the head on the back of a turtle!

Performances by "The Jet Velocity Holiday Allstar Band", which looked like a cheap parody of a parody rock band, which essentially looked like impersonators, a rock'n'roll Santa Claus, and a couple of blonde bimbos {probably former 'groupies'} and douchebags. Overall looked and sounded like a cover band.

There was some other band with Sancho Panza in a cowboy hat, and a girl who looked like she was masturbating a prosthetic covered in sleighbells. The drummer looked like Slingblade.

A glamorous Marie Osmond sang a couple of generic tunes, the started crossing the line with singing in latin and hebrew in deference to the irrelevant nazarene. She's a bit of a zealot tackily sneaking her uncalled for beLIEfs into performances. Very attractive and should receive Unholy Cummunion, Sacrament, & be sodomized by a cross.

A definite highpoint came with the movie cars, including The Batmobile {West & Keaton versions}, Ghostbusters ambulance, Munster Coach, KITT {no Hoff?!}, & others. Star Wars Imperial Forces looked impressive, an f'n' potato truck {in an effort to be "all-inclusive", should have included ARC or special olympics}, and a lame, laughable "vespa club" assemblage - "gaaaayeee" - would have rather seen "Satan's Angels".

Two Korean dancing groups {no doubt in deference to recent "asian hate" crimes - I would have liked to have seen a Martial Arts dojo represented as well}, Catholic schools band {unfortunately no short skirt uniforms}, Armenian dancers {middle-easterners with nay accompaniment. I bet they all live in Glendale!} Would have liked to have seen whirling dervishes as well, Marine & Army displays, and a ghetto group {"...have yourself a ghetto little xmas... joseph's not there and mary's on welfare..."}. All concluded with Santa Claus in sleigh with a couple of Marines. No Krampus or elves.

Overall, very generic, gaudy, rushed, and rather lackluster. Most all performances seemed lip-synched, lazy, and accompanied with a timed cheering track.

[2/5]