April 12th, 2015

Devil, incubus, gentleman, martini, scoundrel

Pumpkin Planter


What to do with Jack O' Lanterns & uncarved pumpkins after October 31st?

Instead of throwing it out in the trash, or letting it just deflate and rot on the porch, it occurred to Me that it would make for a rather nice organic planter that will provide its own mulch. It may continue to be displayed on the porch or window sill, or driveway, what have you, for up to a week or so before it should be moved into the garden. The plant will naturally take root through the pumpkin and into the soil, while deriving the needed nutrients.

  • Remove candle, light, etc.
  • Scrape wax residue clean.
  • Place onto a plate or dish to catch excess water or dirt.
  • Insert plant with soil, manure, water, etc.
  • Preserve outside the garden for up to a week, then relocate to planting spot.
  • Consign the life form unto Belial, which consists of tracing the Pentagram over the spot or into the soil, uttering "In Nomine Satanas, By Belial, I commit this life form unto the earth to thrive and bear great fruition." Sprinkle with water that has been consecrated at the Altar of Satan.
  • Allow the plant to feed on the pumpkin entrails until the gourd gives way and the roots penetrate into the soil. The plant will naturally extract the moisture and nutrients it needs from the gourd.
  • The gourd will eventually blend into the soil, and with proper care, the plant will thrive.

As an added amusing effect, you will note that the plant's leaves resemble hair on the jack o' lantern, and a veritable bouquet in uncarved pumpkins, which themselves may be painted or face drawn thereupon, if desired. Experiment with various plants, herbs, and flowers to gain the effect that pleases you. Grasses also work well for this purpose.

L'Envoi: Utilizing plastic Jack O' Lantern buckets all year 'round can also be useful as planters or bouquets, but if they are to be used extensively for a plant to live in, holes would have to be drilled therein. I have seen a non-organic decorative planter about as well. {1}{2}{3}

* Addendum: Interesting to note that the same evening of this missive would bring a repercussion to the wilderness known as the Kenneth Hahn Recreational Area. Synchronous confirmation.