July 11th, 2010


Cereal Killers... They're deliciously deadly!

It is hard to believe this has not been done yet. So here are some amusing ideas:

  • Nightstalker Crunch: Strawberry pentagrams with red devil head shaped marshmallows. Milk turns blood red. Enter contests to win AC/DC merchandise & rare Avia shoes! Features hellfire box art and one water-based hand marker.
  • Manson Munch: Gritty swastikas with walnuts. Like grape nuts, but better! Rich in fiber!
  • Apple Jack [the] Rippers: Porridge-like caramelized apple chunks with top hats, knives, & "entrail" bits. Includes cherry, strawberry, or raspberry syrup.
  • Zodiac Attack!: Characteristic target frosted bits with multi-colored marshmallow astrological symbols. Fun puzzles inside!
  • Dahmer's Cannibal Crunch: Chocolate Poached severed heads {like "Life"} with fruity body part marshmallows. Seems to have a 'calming' effect.
  • Leather Licks {Ed Gein}: Brownish cinnamon cereal with mask-like appearance. Special skeleton spoon included! Cut-out "skin mask" on back.
  • Pogos: Rainbow fruit marshmallows with confetti-like sprinkles. Includes a balloon with Pogo The Clown likeness, or kazoo, or slide whistle. Cut-out clown mask on back. Party with Pogo!
  • Sammy's Sugar Slams {Son of Sam}: Crunchy .44 caliber gun Berko-bits with green dog-shaped marshmallows. Milk turns greenish. Contains squirt gun.
  • Acid Kings {Kasso Crunchies}: Wheat chips, honey nut flavored 666 oats, & candy-like eyeballs which soften in milk. Say you love Satan and get a special crown inside! Caution: Do not lick the wax paper!
  • Bundy Snaps: Get a jolt from these girl-shaped marshmallows and electric chairs that crackle! Free legal advice inside!
  • Grim Sleepers: Chocolate covered rice cereal with blueberry & grape-flavored sickle-shaped marshmallows. Milk turns blue. Box features sleepy Reaper waking up for breakfast. Discounts on Pizza at local parlors. Just add DNA!
  • Sensino-ahhs {"Smiley-Face Killers"}: The mystery cereal! Named after the cryptic message left at crime scenes, these are large oats in the shape of smiley faces & crossbones with body-shaped rice crisps that float in milk. Contains mystery prize inside of various toy weapons.

* Related: The vampire, the ghost, and the monster...