October 11th, 2008

winged skull, vampire, predator


The Candiru {A.K.A., the "vampire fish"}

At many a past party, I have long-since heard the story about someone who had relieved themselves over the side of a boat, when a fish swam upstream, entering the penis, wedging itself therein by extending spikes, with the only way to remove it was by completely removing the member. The story was always more effectual with gesticulations of quickly extended fingers to simulate spines, and a chopping movement. Of course, this was always met with groans and pangs of the contemplation.

This is in fact, the candiru fish, indigenous to South America, particularly Brazil - a parasitic creature which routinely enters the gills of a larger fish, extending its spines, absorbing the blood proceeding from the wounds. It does not typically feed on humans, but it has happened in some select instances.

As the above story relates, such incidents are in fact true, although a human male or female host's genitalia would have to be very close to the surface of the water, or submerged while urinating. Once penetrated however, it can only be removed from a human host via surgery, although unlike the legend, the effected member can be salvaged, if attended to promptly [Image: extraction of a candiru].

One primitive solution was to combine and apply a sprig of the Jagua plant with a sliver of the Buitach apple, which is said to dissolve the organism. Otherwise, perhaps amputation was the only unfortunate solution.

The candiru cannot in fact travel up a stream of urea, but may be attracted to movement, temperature, and biological effluvia. Therefore, it would be far wiser for swimmers to utilize the facilities instead.

Eviscerated engorgement: In schools, the candiru fish is also renowned for devouring a carcass from the inside-out, entering the mouth, even piercing holes in a "drilling" movement, consuming organs and all inner soft tissue, leaving an empty husk. ∞