June 5th, 2006


666: Alarmed by tomorrow's date?

666: Alarmed by tomorrow's date?

Tuesday has some people scared sixless.

More than just the sixth day of the sixth month of the year 2006, it's the date when day, month and year give us the seemingly deviant digits: 666.

No other number, in the history of numbers, has caused such a stir and scare. Thanks to pop culture's interpretation of the biblical reference to the "number of the beast," June 6, 2006, is bringing new meaning to the phrase "day from hell."

The Hollywood hyperbole is well-prepared: Tuesday will see the release of the movie The Omen, a remake of the 1976 movie that made some people nutty about the numbers 666 to begin with; supposedly evil rock bands will unleash new albums; and writer Ann Coulter will spew forth a new book.

Quick, everybody, hide your eyes!

To better prepare you for tomorrow's swirl of Satanism and silliness, we have prepared a guide to all things 666-related. And you'd better read it now -- who knows if you'll be possessed at the stroke of midnight tonight and, you know, won't be able to read or something.

A Revelation

The origins of 666 are rooted in the Christian Bible's book of Revelation. Revelation 13:18 says: "Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six."

The "Beast" is the "anti-Christ." The "anti-Christ," as the label would imply, is the opposite of God. The "anti-Christ," many believe, will come to Earth and bring chaos, horror and more evil than a William Shatner CD.

According to the Rev. Mark Hitchcock, when the Beast arrives, people will be forced to institute a number on their bodies, making us essentially walking credit cards.

"This anti-Christ figure will force everyone to devote their allegiance to him and take his number on their forehead or right hand," says Hitchcock, a pastor at Faith Bible Church in Edmond, Okla., and author of 15 prophecy books. "If you don't take the number, you won't be able to buy or sell anything. The number is your personal allegiance to the anti-Christ and also your passport to commerce."

Hitchcock says that this isn't coming anytime soon, as in tomorrow.

"The number 666 has nothing to do with a specific date," he says. "It has to do with the person's name. Each one of [the Beast's] names has six letters in it. That's what 666 symbolizes."

Name that Beast

If Hitchcock's beliefs -- which are as shared as they are disputed by various Christian and non-Christian groups -- are true, one could spend a dangerous amount of time trying to find the person who will be the Beast.

Former President Ronald Wilson Reagan was thought to be the Beast by certain religious groups. Each of his names contains six letters. "People have tried to tie the anti-Christ to just about everyone -- Clinton, Kennedy, whoever they don't like," says Hitchcock. "... But really, we're not going to know who he is until after the Rapture."

That's another story.

When you've got an evil cough ...

... try 666 Cough Syrup. True story: There was once a line of medical products called 666. They are no longer available at retail stores, according to a Web site that posted this excuse: "Due to FDA guidelines, these products have been stopped on our Web site."

Online auction site eBay, however, has a couple of the 666 cough drops. Current bid is $9.99.

Opportunity awaits

Many higher-ups in the entertainment industry are taking advantage of 666 hysteria by unveiling diabolical products Tuesday. Such as:

The Omen, a remake of the 1976 movie about an American ambassador who soon learns his young son is the Beast. The original movie, which starred Gregory Peck, was sneak-previewed to U.S. audiences on, yes, June 6, 1976.

David Lee Roth will release his new album, Strummin' With the Devil, that day. It's a collection of Van Halen songs done up bluegrass-style.

Other sinister performers have albums coming out tomorrow, including controversial rapper Ice Cube's Laugh Now, Cry Later; death-metal band As Blood Runs Black's Allegiance; and frighteningly loud metal act Deicide's The Stench of Redemption.

Writer/liberal-basher Ann Coulter, will release her new book, Godless: The Church of Liberalism. According to a story in the Mississippi Sun Herald, Coulter recently told Fox News that tomorrow's release date is a "little tribute to liberals."

Happy birthday!

Most celebrities probably look forward to their birthdays -- lots of neat presents from equally rich friends. But a handful may be trying to keep their birthdays quiet this year, because they fall on this dreadful day. Among them: actors Colin Quinn, Paul Giamatti and Robert Englund, pop-rock singer Uncle Kracker and comedian Sandra Bernhard.

666: Music to their ears

Hoping their Satanic shtick will stick to the charts, several hard-rock and metal bands have incorporated the 666 slogan into their music and messages. Goth band HIM has a crush on 666: They named their 1996 EP 666 WaysTo Love, then followed it, a year later, with Greatest Love Songs, Vol. 666. Three bands have songs called Route 666: Helltrain, the Deadcats and Godzilla Flip. This is not to mention all the 666 imagery conjured up by longtime-evil-lovers such as Black Sabbath and Danzig.

British metal band Iron Maiden had the biggest hit with 666: The Number of the Beast. The 1982 album sold millions and spawned a single of the same name. A sample of its lyrics: "666, the number of the Beast. 666, the one for you and me." Hey, maybe their singer is the Beast.

Not-so-deep sixed

Not everybody is taking 06-06-06 seriously. Many are making jokes about this potential doomsday. And many are very funny, such as these excerpts from various Web sites:

Phillips 666 -- gasoline of the Beast

Word 6.66 -- Word Processor of the Beast i666i -- BMW of the Beast

6 ... Uh, what was that number again? Number of the Blonde Beast

$665.95 -- retail price of the Beast

$656.66 -- Price of the Beast

$646.66 -- Next week's price of the Beast.

Sorry, wrong number

Unfortunately for metal bands who have built their careers on spooky 666 imagery, Satanists who pray to various 666 entities and knuckleheads who bear triple-6 tattoos, there is now speculation that the number of the beast is actually 616.

Last year, several reputable news agencies reported that a newly discovered fragment of the book of Revelation reveals that the mark of evil is off by 50. According to WorldNetDaily.com, scholars in England were using an imaging process to examine the sacred text when they made the 616 discovery.

"Scholars have argued for a long time over this," a professor told Canada's National Post, according to the World Net Daily's Web site. "And it now seems that 616 was the original number of the Beast."

Now, that's a hell of a mistake.


Recommendations for the 6/6/6 Sintennial Sabbath

For those not attending the Sintennial festivities in Hell-A for whatever reason, I have compiled the following suggestions in celebration of 6/6/6:
Recommendations for the 6/6/6 Sintennial Sabbath
Black Mass, Baptism, Infernal Conception, celebration

* Utilize this date for the performance of Le Messe Noir from The Satanic Rituals to purge your mind of any lingering blindlight influence.

* Perform The Satanic Baptism rite from The Satanic Rituals for oneself. By the essence of self-deification, commence with the formal dedication to the precepts of Lucifer.

* Conceive a demon child with one's mate - the more dramatic, the better. For instance, Open the ceremony in the standard manner as outlined in The Satanic Bible, and after opening The Gates of Hell and The Four-Crown Princes of Hell are called, commit that time to enjoy the pleasure of sex with your mate for the intent of conceiving a child in Satan's name. {May also be performed during Le Messe Noir within the section mentioned for the purpose of performance}.

* Listen to The Satanic Mass CD, and follow along with the litany at hours such at 6:06 am, 6:06 pm, at the time of The High Mass, or midnight.

* Invite friends to see the new Omen premiere, and/or to The Lair and watch the original Omen trilogy, or at least played in the background during the festivities.

Hell-A Attractions

For those travelling to the Sintennial Convergence, following is a list of Black Earth recommendations of infernal interest:

Besides obvious locations such as Disneyland, Magic Mountain, Knott's Berry Farm, and Universal Studios, following are some additional recommendations for your consideration:

  • Necromance Fossils, Lair decor, memento moris, objects d'art, curios, and otherwise dark themed items of nefarious interest.

  • Queen Mary Commissioned by Howard Hughes, this leviathanine cruise-liner is said to be profusely haunted. There is a haunted tour available, as well as galleries and displays from yester-year.

  • Aquarium of The Pacific Features the world of the watery abyss below, and its interesting inhabitants. Currently features the "Dazzling & Dangerous" Venomous creatures attraction.

  • Arboretum Extraordinary horticultural total environment filled with marvellous vistas and an educational tour.

  • Hollywood Roosavelt Hotel Said to be a haunted hotel featuring the alleged 'ghost' of Marilyn Monroe in a mirror in the lobby, and a full gallery of Noir Hollywood.

  • Ipso Facto "Gothic"-themed store featuring jewelry, clothing, accessories, music, piercings, baubles, and Occult literature.

  • Hollywood Wax Museum Replicas of many cinematic characters from yester-year. Includes a Horror section as well.

  • Ripley's Museum The strange and unusual world of Robert Ripley, including many humanimal and animal oddities!

  • The Erotic Museum Includes art, erotic toys, sinemaerotica, salacious project displays, and sometimes nude models.

  • Grauman's Chinese Theater Impressive architecture features legendary actors' autographs, hand and shoe impressions cast in concrete in this Chinese total environment. Would be a Hell of a place to see The Omen, if you don't mind the crowd, that is.

  • Griffith Observatory Astronomical spectacular featuring murals, statuary, monoliths, history, tesla coil demonstrations, educational tours, and the planetarium theater.

  • Hollywood Forever Cemetary Among many others, cinematic notables include Jayne Mansfield, Tyrone Power, Charlie Chaplin, Cecil B. Demille, Douglas Fairbanks Jr. & Sr., Peter Lorre, Rudolph Valentino, Carl "Alfalfa" Switzer; as well as musicians Rozz Williams and Johnny Ramone.

  • L.A. County Coroner Giftshop
    Puts the "fun" in "fun-eral"! Souvenires, accoutrement, accessories, novelties, and many more items with their trademark body chalk outline.

  • La Luz De Jesus Gallery

  • Dark Delicacies

  • L.A. Galleries Of particular note in the list, The Morpheus Gallery {may not be current in the list; the website mentions a location in Las Vegas}.