Rev. Warlock DRACONIS BLACKTHORNE (dblackthorne) wrote,

Beware Saturday the 14th!


This horror-comedy is actually a pretty good movie with a "neighbor of the beast" feel. Even at one point, the VanHelsing character marks "667" on the wall, which is indicative of the overall feel.

Saturday the 14thStats. Couple with 2 children inherit a house, rumored to be haunted, contains a Book of Evil, both coveted by a couple of vampires {who would have normally purchased the property, except that now they have to get around this generic couple's "inheritance", whom are sadly unappreciative and oblivious of all the hellegant decorations and spooktacular activities & hellements therein}.

Monsters start appearing when nubile daughter goes for a bath, in classic fin in the tub manner. Gil just wants the girl, whose favorite word is "creepy". While little Billy is the admitted "smart one" in the family, but upon finding and opening the Book of Evil, all manner of supernatural activity begins to manifest, essentially opening the portal to Hell, driving them to contract Van Helsing, whom in quite an interesting twist, turns to to be some sort of sorcerer who battles he resident vampire named Waldemar {and his very alluring vampiress companion}. He uses a makeshift lab to formulate cocktails in the meantime.

Attractive wife gets bitten by vampire {"owls"} in the attic, dons a translucent nightgown and sleeps in soil on the bed.

A party is scheduled for the night of Saturday the 14th, in order to contain the malevolence unleashed from the grimoire, utilizing the combined energy of the in-law visitors, who just end up being eaten; also randomly inclusive of a dorky delivery guy who falls in lust with disinterested daughter Debbie, whom became trapped in the house by the prevailing dimensional maelstrom raging outside.

After a few angular and close-up camera perspective shots during the questionable "final battle", all returns to boring wherein the final scene shows the family waving from the common house across the street, lending the viewer in the position of now being inside the haunted house! What bliss! [4/5]*


* Also in the series, Saturday the 14th Strikes Back!

Tags: dracumentary, film, friday the 13th, halloween, haunted house, horror comedy, humor, lokis laughter, monsters, thriller, vampires

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