9. Something people hate to find on their windshield:
The wrong bastard they were aiming for!
8. Something a man might buy before going on a date?
Liquor! Videos! Lube! Condoms?
7. Something you cook in the microwave?
6. An item found in an old man's wallet?
PORN. Photos of those he's eaten, as well as remnants thereof, like nipples or labias.
5. Something always stocked in the fridge?
Body parts! Don't want to offend the neighbors, now.
4. An item found in a Grandma's purse?
A dildo named "Harold" & lube.
3. Sport where you might lose a tooth?
Cunnilingus with Maude, the bottletop lady.
2. A fruit that isn't round?
1. Something you put on a xmas tree?
Pentagram on top, serpent garland and fascinus ornaments! Otherwise a match!