1. Verily, while tarrying forth unto an educational institution availing Myself of facilities, 2. A man came forth unto My presence afflicted with multiple spider bites upon his legs and head. 3. His legs were discolored with a reddish hue upon a portion thereof, while his scalp displayed a multitude of whitened pustules all over thereupon, which appeared to be implanted eggs. 4. He mentioned the leg bites were that of a brown recluse, though it seems he may have lain down in a whole nest of arachnids. 5. He was repeatedly praising his "lord" for his survival, though it would have been more remarkable if said "lord" could have prevented his affliction in the first place. 6. An attempt at conversion was proposed, which was successfully fielded with logic and reason, the natural foes of the typical blindlight xtard. 7. Whereupon it was inquired if I beLIEve in said "god". 8. I thus asserted My perspectives tend towards Jungian Psychology, with any so-called "prayer" being more akin to willful meditation, concentration akin to PREYing rather than 'prayer'. 9. Whereupon reknowned Mythologist Mage Joseph Campbell was invoked to establish the point that all common religions and belief systems run parralel to one another, with mere cultural variations in nomenclature, 10. So not any one bible holds particular origins to any given dualistically "good" or 'Evil' characterization, parable or epic.* 11. The "Jesus" character is a delusional derelict with just enough education to awe local peasants with certain tricks to convince that sum of erzatz divinity, and thus the urban legend was created and otherwise personafied, since exploited by opportunistic hypocrites. 12. So it came to pass that we departed company towards our destinations, with an additional reminder to visit the local healer and apothecary, 13. That these wounds not transform to infections, tormented with maggots and further diseases like necrosis and leprosy.
* Personally, I currently veer more towards Lovecraft, Tolkien, and Rowling at this timeless.